For A Friend

Over the last few days, I’ve noticed that a friend of mine has been suffering with various problems in their life and is naturally feeling quite upset, depressed and is unsure about what to do next. They’ve had a lot to deal with in the past year or so, redundancy, death of a parent, illness and now after settling into a new job, faces the threat of their contract not being extended and becoming unemployed again. Now I’m not going to mention any names as I don’t want to betray this person’s confidence, but, they have really given me pause for thought today about all the challenges we face in life.

Now I have known this particular friend for well over 10yrs. We worked together at one point and in fact used to joke that we saw each other more often than some of the members of our own family. In some ways you might say we became our own family and together with a few other colleagues shared so many good and bad times and talked about so many different things, that what we haven’t covered in the past ten years can’t really have been worth talking about!

When one of us is happy, we all share and celebrate that moment and when one of us hurts and is upset, the rest of us feel that hurt and upset and want to take it all away and make things better. This is of course what friendship is all about – being there for your friends through all the good time and bad times – and yet today I feel such a helpless friend. The only comfort I can give is that I know some of what they are going through at the moment, having been in similar situations myself and that things will get better, or they will become stronger through the challenges they are facing now and be better equipped to deal with other problems that come this way.

I am reminded of something that John Bytheway (yes that is his real name!), a motivational speaker once related. He talked about how he started going to a gym and his personal trainer would have him lift this bar. It was hard at first but eventually he started to get the hang of it. Then the trainer did something really mean and put weights on the end of the bar. Well he tried to lift it, but it was hard and yet his personal trainer insisted that he keep going. He explained to John that the pain he felt was his muscles being stretched almost to the point of breaking and tearing and yet when they stopped exercising, they would knit back together and become stronger and he would be able to lift more. In John’s gym there was a sign on the wall which he came to appreciate – No Pain = No Gain. Now John was more of the opinion, No Pain = Good, but he came to understand this not just in terms of exercising but also in the challenges we face in life. Some people might also relate this to the saying “That which doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger!”

It’s hard though when we’re in the middle of a trial to see the light at the end of the tunnel, or we worry that the light could just be from an oncoming train! It is difficult to see a way out and an end to all the misery we are facing and it is understandable to want to give up. Many of us when putting on our make up in the morning, put on a face to try and hide the hurt and pain we are feeling and we go out and try to pretend that nothing is wrong and just get through the day. What we really need is someone to see through the disguise and give us some comfort – even if it is just a hug or a kind word. Sometimes, that’s all it takes.
At times like these with my friend – and with others, I think of the song Safe Harbours by Michael Mclean

There are refugees among us
That are not from foreign shores;
And the battles they are waging
Are from very private wars.
And there are no correspondents
Documenting all their grief,
But these refugees among us all
Are yearning for relief.

There are refugees among us.
They don’t carry flags or signs.
They are standing right beside us
In the market checkout lines;
And the war they’ve been fighting
It will not be televised,
But the story of their need for love
Is written in their eyes.

This is a call to arms,
To reach out and to hold
The evacuees from the dark.
This is a call to arms,
To lead anguished souls
To safe harbours of the heart.

Can you see through their disguises?
Can you hear what words won’t tell?
Some are losing faith in Heaven
‘Cause their life’s a living Hell.
Is there anyone to help those
Who have nowhere else to flee?
For the only arms protecting them
belong to you and me.

Do you know of someone who needs their friends right now, this very minute? Pick up the phone, pick up a pen or even your computer and let them know that you care. I felt quite useless earlier today, thinking that all I had done was offer a listening ear and said a few words that had my friend cry even more (in a nice way this time, I hope) but then another friend reminded me that sometimes, a kind word and a listening ear are all that a person needs.

I am so very blessed in my life to have the best friends that money can’t buy. Some of them live close by, others live abroad but I know that because of them I need never feel alone, they will always be there for me and to them I say THANK-YOU. I hope that one day I can be to them the kind of friend that they have been to me in my darkest of times. That’s what friends are for after all.

Comic Relief - 18th March 2011

It’s rather heart-warming to know that during times of recession, war and natural disasters, there are people who are still willing to give up their time, who will put their hands into their pockets and give to help relieve the suffering of others.

Last night the BBC broadcast their annual fundraising event Comic Relief, a night where celebrities from the world of  TV, sport, music and comedy got together to do “something funny for money” . The sum raised on the evening was over £74 million, no small feat in light of the recession we are currently facing here in the UK. All of this seemed forgotten though as interspersed amongst the comedy moments, we watched heart-wrenching footage of children and adults living in extreme poverty in parts of Africa.

It was extremely hard to watch at times as you saw children of 9yrs old looking after younger siblings, orphaned because their parents had died of HIV. Children suffering from Malaria or Cataracts and in need of basic medication or an operation – I think there would have been few who could have watched the reports without being moved to do something and donate to help these people.

The footage along with the entertainment from the celebrities did what it was meant to do and raised a huge sum of money whilst we watched from the comforts of our own homes, grateful now for the simplest of things we used to take for granted; running water, beds, clothing, food and medicine.

There were some brilliant sketches throughout the evening, my favourites being the “Fake That” sketch of comedians auditioning to be part of a Take That tribute band and also the Smithy Sketch where he steps in to help save Comic Relief – admittedly it wasn’t as funny as the sketch he did for Sports Relief but I’m sure he and the many other celebrities that featured in it, helped to raise a great deal of money.

I thoroughly support this cause and did my part in buying the t-shirt and donating money to the charity but still felt that it wasn’t enough and indeed I felt guilty for sometimes moaning about minor things when I am so much better off than the people I watched on TV.


Other friends of mine have also responded to recent events and have leapt into action to do their part to help relieve the suffering of others. Touched by the news reports of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, some of my friends in Utah today are sat making quilts in their local church to send to Japan. The Humanitarian Aid supplied by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) helps so many people all over the world including those who are not of their faith. In 2010 the Church provided relief to people affected by 119 disasters in 58 countries and is still working hard within many of the communities it has previously helped.

It reminded me of a story I once heard about who dies and upon reaching Heaven says to the Lord “Have you seen what’s going on down there? There’s wars, famines, death and disease, why didn’t you send help?”  The Lord replies “I did, I sent you!”. We may not think that our little donation can make a difference, but it can. We are so blessed in our lives to have what many others may consider to be a luxury and it is when we see others suffering that we ought to give what we can to help them.


It is not too late to give to Comic Relief, you can pay money in at any major bank or building society, you can donate clothing and other good through Oxfam and other charities –You can still make a difference.

For more information on Comic Relief see: http://www.comicrelief.com/


For more information on the Humanitarian Aid projects by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints see: http://lds.org/service/humanitarian/church?lang=eng

International Women's Day - March 8th 2011

Today marks the centenary of International Women’s Day, a day when thousands of events are held
throughout the world to inspire women and celebrate their achievements.
In the last 100 years there have been many women who have fought for their beliefs, who have become ground breakers in so many different fields of life and who have struggled against adversity and opposition to reach their goals and whose stories even now inspire the women of today. They may be mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, daughters, granddaughters, lone parents, spinsters or wives, but they are all women. Today is a celebration of these people and an acknowledgement of all they do and continue to do.

So who would feature in your list of Top Ten Women of the century? It’s a difficult one to answer and I’m sure everyone can think of different people. For me, it would be those women who were told “It couldn’t be done” and then went out and did it anyway, people like Amelia Earhart the first woman to fly a plane solo across the Atlantic. How about women who overcame great adversity in their life but who managed to turn things around and make a success in spite of their disabilities – people like Helen Keller, American author, political activist and lecturer who became the first deaf blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree. There’s also those who devote most of their lives to serving and helping others and who offer comfort and hope to those less fortunate, people like Mother Theresa, who was still working and caring for people when she was 100yrs old.

In the last century alone we have seen the suffragette movement of women fight for equal rights, we have seen women take the places of men in factories whilst the men went off to fight in World War II – nowadays the women themselves are going to fight. We have seen Women Politicians Prime Ministers, Women scientists and authors, Women doctors and lawyers – even Women Footballer managers of premier league clubs. There seems to be no end to what women have achieved in the last one hundred years and are still doing so now.

There are so many women around the world who daily provide comfort and care to those in need, who fight for the rights of other women, who strive to improve living conditions and who make the world a better place just by what they do. Many of them aren’t film stars or pop stars but do an ordinary job day in day out and don’t think that they make much of a difference – but they do!

So to all women out there – THANK YOU for your fine examples, for not giving up when the going got tough and for showing women everywhere what can be achieved if we try. May we as women of today, continue to be the good example, to help and strengthen others in their time of need and to carry on through our adversities to reach our goals.

Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.
-- Marie Curie

Follow your instincts - you never know if your ideas will work out unless you try them.
-- Lulu Guinness, Good Housekeeping, June 2003

Modern invention has banished the spinning wheel, and the same law of progress makes the woman of today a different woman from her grandmother. -- Susan B. Anthony, Women's Activist

In politics if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. – Margaret Thatcher former British Prime Minister.

We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They do not exist. --Queen Victoria

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. – Harriet Beecher Stowe, Author.

Happy Women's Day!!

Opera Review - The Mikado

Opera Review – The Mikado (English National Opera)

Set in the town of Titipu in Japan where flirting is punishable by death, Nanki-poo son of The Mikado of Japan, has fled from court to escape his betrothal of marriage to an elderly rich lady by the name of Katisha. Disguising himself as a travelling musician, he meets and falls in love with Yum-Yum who is already betrothed to her ward Ko-ko, a former tailor of the town, now Lord High Executioner. They seem destined to spend their lives apart but a series of twists and changes in circumstances bring the couple together and not without some highly comical moments.

This latest production of Gilbert and Sullivan’s comic opera by English National Opera sets the scene not in the traditional Japan but in the 1930’s in what could be considered the English Riviera. This staging does not detract from the comedy of the original piece though and in many ways enhances it with some Chaplinesque qualities in the characters’ performances. The stage itself was stunning being decorated totally in whites and creams and in a style reminiscent of the art deco period. It made a stunning contrast to the performers’ black and white costumes and along with the occasional red accessory gave it an oriental feel.

The music was light, the lyrics were touching, comical and clever and featured such well-known favourites as Three Little Maids, Tit Willow and They’d none of ‘em be missed! The chorus worthy of a mention, were both energetic and enthusiastic in their song and dance performances and look incredible against the stage backdrop.

There were several notable performances from amongst this exceptional cast, particularly Richard Suart’s Ko-ko who provided many of the laughs of the evening with his witty lines and slapstick performance. I especially enjoyed his updated rendition of “They’d none of ‘em be missed” which was very in keeping with current affairs and full of satire and humour....it really was a song not to be missed and judging from the audience reaction, it was a huge success. Richard recently released a book celebrating his twenty years connection with The Mikado which explores the history of the Mikado but also looks at the many changes to the song to keep up with the times.

The star of the show however was Alfie Boe as Nanki-Poo. I have mentioned Alfie in previous blog entries as a wonderful performer and brilliant opera singer but this opera also allowed him to show other talents. Not only is the man a great comic actor but he can dance too! He hammed up his character superbly without going over the top and his performance was full of energy and enthusiasm which was quite contagious at times. It was wonderful to sit in a packed opera house and listen not just to extraordinary performances and cleverly written score but also to be part of audience and feel the buzz that ran through them like an electric current.

There are only a few performances remaining in this run, but if you are able to go and see it, I would highly recommend it. It is impossible to watch and leave in a bad mood. This comic opera really lifts the spirits and despite its sometimes serious subject will leave you feeling elated.

For more information on English National Opera, see their website www.eno.org

For more information on Richard Suart’s book “They’d none of ‘em be missed” see http://www.amazon.co.uk/

For more information on Alfie Boe, his recordings and future engagements visit www.alfieboe-uk.com or follow him on twitter www.twitter.com/alfieboe